Skip to main content

'Address to the Toothache'

I have toothache!!

I have had it for over a week now and despite x-rays, antibiotics and painkillers it's still there although it is easing slightly every day. They don't know what's causing it. It has been suggested that I could have banged my head on something and I vaguely remember clashing heads with one of my dogs as I bent down and she jumped up although that could just be my mind playing tricks and giving me a reason for my terrible suffering.

I truly believe that toothache is the worst pain you can have and I don't care what anyone else says. It's constant and when it does subside momentarily and you think it may have gone, it returns seconds later with a vengeance. It doesn't just affect your teeth, it makes you miserable and bad-tempered (yes - even more so in my case), you can't eat, it's impossible to sleep and normal daily activities become so difficult that you have to wonder whether it's actually worth carrying on.

So, I would like to share with you all a poem from the great Robert Burns. He describes exactly how I've been feeling recently far more 'eloquently' than I ever could. I have included an English translation at the end for those of you not familiar with the Scots Language.

My curse upon your venom'd stang, 
That shoots my tortur'd gooms alang, 
An' thro' my lug gies monie a twang 
Wh' gnawing vengeance, 
Tearing my nerves wi' bitter pang, 
Like racking engines! 

A' down my beard the slavers trickle, 
I throw the wee stools o'er the mickle, 
While round the fire the giglets keckle 
To see me loup, 
An' raving mad, I wish a heckle 
Were i' their doup! 

When fevers burn, or ague freezes, 
Rheumatics gnaw, or colic squeezes, 
Our neebors sympathize to ease us 
Wi' pitying moan; 
But thee! - thou hell o' a' diseases, 
They mock our groan! 

Of a' the num'rous human dools -- 
Ill-hairsts, daft bargains, cutty-stools, 
Or worthy frien's laid i' the mools, 
Sad sight to see! 
The tricks o' knaves, or fash o' fools -- 
Thou bear'st the gree! 

Whare'er that place be priests ca' Hell, 
Whare a' the tones o' misery yell, 
An' ranked plagues their numbers tell 
In dreadfu' raw, 
Thou, Toothache, surely bear'st the bell 
Amang them a'! 

O thou grim, mischief-making chiel, 
That gars the notes o' discord squeal, 
Till humankind aft dance a reel 
In gore a shoe-thick, 
Gie a' the faes o' Scotland's weal 
A towmond's toothache.

My curse upon your venomed sting,
That shoots my tortured gums along,
And through my ear gives many a twinge
With gnawing vengeance,
Tearing my nerves with bitter pang,
Like racking engines!

All down my beard the drools trickle,
I throw the little stools over the mickle,
While round the fire the children cackle
To see me leap,
And raving mad, I wish a Heckling comb
Were in their backside!

When fevers burn, or ague freezes,
Rheumatics gnaw, or colic squeezes,
Our neighbours sympathize to ease us
With pitying moan;
But you! - you hell of all diseases,
They mocks our groan!

Of all the numerous human woes -
Bad harvests, stupid bargains, cutty-stools,
Or worthy friends laid in the crumbling earth,
Sad sight to see!
The tricks of knaves, or annoyance of fools -
You bears the prize!

Where ever that place be priests call Hell,
Where all the tones of misery yell,
And ranked plagues their numbers tell
In dreadful row,
You, Toothache, surely bears the bell 
Among them all!

O you grim, mischief-making chap,
That makes the notes of discord squeal,
Till humankind often dance a reel
In gore a shoe-thick,
Give all the foes of Scotland's well
A twelve months toothache.  - translation found at The World Burns Club

Until the next time - assuming I survive this,

Denise x


Popular posts from this blog

Stop! It's Going Too Fast and I Want to Get Off!

Carousel Okay - I don't actually mean that I want things to stop so that I can get off because I'm having too much fun but, over the last few months, my life has become a daily whirlwind of new businesses, taking on new projects, building websites and building a brand and it's not showing any sign of slowing down. I have loved every minute of it so far but it has meant that so many other things in my life have had to be put on the back burner whilst all this has been going on, including Cupcakes and Cadenzas. It will all have been worth it in the long run but I just want to say thanks to everyone who has stuck around and not abandoned this blog and to say that I haven't forgotten about it or you. Why I love Cupcakes and Cadenzas so much and refuse to give up on it it is that it was the very first blog that I set up and is therefore my 'baby' as far as blogs go. I have several other blogs set up for various business ventures but Cupcakes and Cadenzas is

10 Things About Me You Would Never Know Unless I Told You

10! I often read blog posts which list a number of facts about the blogger and, I have to confess, I love reading them. I'm often surprised at things people do or have done, places they have lived etc. It's funny how you build up a picture of someone you don't actually know and then they give you a few facts about themselves and that picture can be completely changed. So here are my 10 facts. I was going to title the post '10 Facts About Me You Would Never Know Unless I Told You and Probably Wished You Didn't Know Once You Read Them' but that was just a bit too long. Anyway... I studied Wing Chun Kung Fu for several years My ultimate comfort food is a white roll with tuna mayo and Branston pickle. Don't ask I have a tattoo and for anyone who is wondering - yes - it was painful and no - I don't regret getting it. I like love adore Pingu When I was at school I fenced for Scotland (the sport of fencing as opposed to handling stolen goods of

10 Things I Love About Autumn

Well, summer is over and it's now autumn. The seasons are very easy to work out as far as I'm concerned. March, April, May -  Spring June, July, August   Summer Sept, Oct, November Autumn Dec, Jan, February - Winter I love autumn. It's my favourite season of the year and here are 10 reasons why I love it so much. The beautiful autumnal colours of the leaves on the trees. I love the varying shades of greens, yellows, browns, oranges, bronzes, reds and pinks Thick homemade soups and fresh crusty bread. In particular Scotch Broth - there's nothing to beat it Frosty mornings Lighting the fire and the smell of the logs drying out in the log basket beside it Jumpers, knitted dresses and woolly tights Huge mugs of proper hot chocolate made with fresh vanilla, chilli flakes, whipped cream, marshmallows and a dash of brandy. (recipe to follow) Walking through carpets of fallen leaves in the woods with the dogs Curling up on the sofa on a grey afternoon to